The same method doesn’t work for everyone, each person has to invent his or her own, whichever suits them best, some people spend their entire lives reading but never get beyond reading the words on the page, they don’t understand that the words are merely stepping stones placed across a fast-flowing river, and the reason they’re there is so that we can reach the farther shore, it’s the other side that matters, Unless, Unless what, Unless those rivers don’t have just two shores but many, unless each reader is his or her own shore, and that shore is the only shore worth reading.
Back in February during the AWP Conference in Denver, CO, I read a non-fiction piece called “The Author Who Gets Free Drinks: a (Hopefully) True Story.” Fine man extraordinaire Stephen Krauska was in the audience. After the reading, I spoke with him for a bit, and got the (eventually proven true) impression that he’s an all around damn nice guy. So nice in fact that for the first issue of his (and co-editor Claire Suellentrop‘s) Cannoli Pie Magazine he asked to print the AWP piece.
Episode #006 of The Velvet Podcast just went live a few hours ago. Gordon Highland, Jesse Lawrence, Logan Frost, and Stephen Graham Jones talk about:
Discussion of other mediums like film and television has always been an important aspect of The Velvet, because we find that our shared tastes in books translates well to art and entertainment in general. Inspired by one of our most popular forums, this episode features three Velvet staffers and author Stephen Graham Jones waxing about the big and small screens, both as consumers and creators, cinners and cineastes wading through the Cinemuck.
Not enough people worship me. Jesus had a whole pool of suckers to write for him. Am I comparing myself to Jesus? Yes. Which brings me to…
An inflated ego brings nothing but misery. But on someone as awesome as me, misery looks damn good.
Something can easily take years to write, but can be read and forgotten in hours (wow, that was a bit of an honest one. I wasn’t expecting that)
If you are so brash as to call your writing an art-form, very few people will be interested. People who don’t care for art will change the subject. People who don’t write but enjoy art will simply not believe you. And people who do write and do enjoy art will immediately resent you for stealing their form. Those few that do take interest will likely wane once you start describing character motivations and narrative arc. The trick, I think, is to write about boobs.
If the page is a reflection of your soul, as hippy writers like to say, then a writer must be fully aware and be willing to accept that your life and soul both suck. Get a job, hippy!
Paper cuts are a job hazard. Pen stabbings are too. Computer maulings happen. I once choked on the “T” key. These are all self-inflicted. For fuck’s sake, I sit in front of a computer for hours each day; I go mad!
One man’s masterpiece is another man’s throw-in to offload a used lawn mower at his yard sale.
When caught burrowing in a dumpster, the excuse “it’s research for a project” only works once. Subsequent times require the truth: “I’m a writer, so I am homeless.”
I bring you #3 of a hopefully long-lived series: Kansas City Reading Coves.
When I can, I like my reading retreats like my coves like my Republican nudists: free swinging and white.
Today’s cove: my hammock – my house
Simply put, my hammock is the greatest reading cozerie since the 70′s invented bean bag chairs. I could sit here for hours, and often I do, reading, smoking cigars, drinking beer, and swinging only as much as the wind wants me to. The hammock is my heaven on Earth. Take that God!
If you are ever in my area, call ahead and the hammock is yours for the afternoon…unless I am already occupying it. We could share, I guess.
Rankings out of 10:
Smoking accommodations
10
It’s outside! It’s my effing house!
Furniture comfort
10
Have you ever sat in a hammock? Like a cloud, people.
Quiet level
8
Lawn mowers cause a bit of ear pain, but other than that, I suffer only the harsh music of nature. Mosquito buzzing sucks.
Temperature comfort
5
I’ve got to go average here. I only sit in the hammock when the weather is nice, so truthfully, this should be a 10. I’d like to sit here every day, but the hot and cold extremes make that impossible.
When watching a rerun of the “Britney’s New Look” episode of South Park a few nights ago, I caught an allusion to the famous short story, “The Lottery,” by Shirley Jackson (minute 16:36 in the clip here). Which makes me wonder, in what other unexpected places do literary references and allusions appear?
Staying in the South Park world, there is the “A Dickens Classic” episode, which is an overt retelling of Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations. More recently, The episode “The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs” is an extended commentary on Catcher in the Rye’s controversial reputation.
But beyond those borders, below are a few I remember (having been refreshed via a few internet searches). What others are there?
The Simpsons
ep Treehouse of Horror V | The “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” from Stephen King’s novel, The Shining, is ‘Homerized’ to “No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy.”
ep Marge Be Not Proud | a shelf of video games contains one game called Canasta Master, which is a parody of the novel The Vegas Kid by Barney Vinson.
ep Diatribe of a Mad Housewife | Thomas Pynchon is depicted in cartoon form (clip below)
Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies
ep Have You Got Any Castles? | This episode I remember, all these years after first seeing it as a child, is a amalgamation of classic literary references. So much so that a web page has been created outlining these mentions.
Family Guy
ep Peterotica | On the DVD version of this episode, one of the erotic novels Peter writes is called “Catcher in the Eye,” a reference to J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye
ep Jerome is the New Black | During Quagmire’s rant about hating Brian, he hones in on Brian’s habit of giving copies of J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye to women.
ep The Kiss Seen Round the World | In the episode a secondary character repeatedly claims that Peter is a ‘big fat phony’, a term that is used throughout J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye.
ep Hannah Banana | Chris does a book report on Catcher in the Rye, but merely describes being about a literal catcher in the rye.
ep A Fish Out of Water | In the episode, Peter spontaneously combusts, which is a reference to the novel Bleak House by Charles Dickens.
ep Fast Times at Buddy Cianci High| Brian assigns a book report on the Charles Dickens novel, Great Expectations. In this same episode, Brian dresses up as Mark Twain to help inspire his remedial English class.
ep He’s Too Sexy for His Fat | Stewie references the ending of the 1956 novel by Frank Gipson, Old Yeller, when he implies killing Brian.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
WP ep Frat Aliens | The frat alien asks Frylock if “Holden Caulfield” was at a party, which is a reference to J.D Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye (and is also a fairly common way of asking party goers if they carried any marijuana).
Futurama
ep War is the H-Word | The Philip K. Dick short story, Imposter, is referenced when a bomb-toting robot is embedded with a trigger phrase which ignites the bomb. In this same episode, a sign outside a convenience store reads “Free bag of Ice-9 with 6-pack,” which is a reference to the substance Ice-nine, from the novel Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut.
