*neither James Patterson nor Stephenie Meyer wrote this book**

**Thank fucking God***

***though I wouldn’t mind their sales. Get to it, asterisks readers.

More about Charactered Pieces, here.

More about Stranger Will, here.

I read somewhere (or maybe I didn’t; reading is for suckers) that the author/promoter divide is a 70/30 ratio. I’d go further, and flip those numbers, giving the promoter hat a 70% weight. If I’ve learned anything with pushing Charactered Pieces these last few months it’s this: writing is a dirty, dirty game.

The dream of churning out books, leaving the advertising and promotion to the publisher, is more a point of Norman Rockwell Nostalgia than a truth. Or at least my experience of it is. Of course, I accept that this may be my own inadequacies speaking, as some authors do get to live the dream. But most do not. Definitely fewer than in years past. Or is that statement also romanticized nostalgia?

Over the past few months, since Charactered Pieces’s November 16^th, 2009 release, I’ve been guilt-ridden for my relative unproductively. When compared historically, this last quarter or so has been remarkably and dishearteningly word-free. But a sudden realization, perhaps evoked by a recent email conversation with author, Pablo D’Stair, made me realize just how much I have actually done these past months. So, as a way to comfort myself, here’s a list of my recent writing-related accomplishments.

1. Promotion. I’ve considered it a hindrance to writing all this time, but really I must think of it as network-building, as meeting more people who could very well become important components to my writing. Pablo D’Stair, for instance, we would not have met had it not been for my incessant (re: annoying) promotion.
2. Tim Hall’s One Damn Thing After Another. I helped bring this fantastic collection to light. Who the hell am I to think of that as time wasted?
3. Revised chapters of my novel-in-progress. I’m working through revisions on one of my unfinished novels, with the help of some very talented writer friends. Since January, I’ve edited five chapters. Some of the changes have been substantial and could be considered full rewrites. Meaning: I get to credit that as writing time.
4. Outsider Writers Collective. I’ve unexpectedly taken on a stronger role over at www.OutsiderWriters.org, which included updating the website in January. Hopefully, the redesign makes for a better experience. The traffic numbers seem to show that more people are visiting. That, or SPAMbots.
5. AWP Blog. In preparation for my April trip to Denver for the AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Projects) Conference, I set up a blog (http://www.calebjross.com/awpblog/) which consists of writer contributors who will document the conference via Twitter, TwitPic, YouTube, and traditional blog posts. Gathering contributors, setting up panelist interviews, and spreading the word have taken quite a bit of time. Not to mention the…
6. AWP off-site reading. I organized a reading at Leela’s European Café  in Denver for April 9^th, which will feature OW Press authors/contributors and members of The Velvet writing community. You’ll get tired of me talking about this, for sure; I am damn excited. And on this topic, another ellipsis…
7. New stories for AWP reading. The standard reading usually features an author reading from his/her most recent release. This is fine. Most of the time. But I anticipate drinks and noise being involved, so something short and funny would probably work better (my Holocaust story, “The Camp,” may be funny to some, but it’s probably not a safe bet to count on an audience full of Nazis). So, I have started a couple new pieces. I feel great about them.
8. Conversation with Pablo D’Stair. I’ve never met anyone more passionate about literature than this guy. He thrives on conversation about words. He isn’t interested in profiting from his writing, nor is he interested in helping others to profit. He is the consummate literary philosopher. Over the last month or so, we’ve had a great back-and-forth via email about Charactered Pieces (and writing in general), that I understand he intends to print as part of a rebirth of his magazine, Predicate. He pulled a lot out of me that had been simmering for a number of years. More on this to come once it is printed.

So, the lesson: I’m not as lazy and fat as I thought.

Photo credit:

Though the official Blog Orgy Tour has sadly passed, I’m still shaking off the effects. Today, I introduce the hangover post, a guest post that could have been part of the Blog Orgy Tour if only I weren’t so busy with groupies and drugs (truth: books and dominoes).

Today, at Michael Paul Gonzalez’s blog, I talk a bit about the true purpose of a blog. My post acts as a ribbon-cutting ceremony of sorts, as this is the first post in Michael’s revamped blog. I’m honored.

And if you still want, all of the past Blog Orgy Tour posts are still available, here.

Simple. Just add my book, Charactered Pieces, to your “to read” list over at GoodReads.com and I’ll send you a super secret crazy spy-esque link to get a signed copy straight from me for only $5 (unsigned, ego-free copies available, too; just tell me which you want). The regular price of this collection is $7. That’s a…don’t tell me…$2 savings. The link will come via a Friend Request. You don’t even have to accept the request. How’s that for noncommittal?

$5 for a damn good collection of stories. It’s not a Subway footlong, but it probably won’t give you diarrhea.

EDIT: Instead of new posts each day, I figure I’ll just keep a running list here of the Buzzwords posts:

• Brought to you by Caleb J Ross. The first name in durability. The last name in class (posted 1/11/2010): this is my welcome post
• Part one in a one part series of cartoons based on blog posts I recently read (posted 1/12/2010): Someone at HTML Giant commented about the impossibility of music influencing literature. This is my rebuttal.
• Dear 3:AM Magazine (posted 1/13/2010): My love letter to 3:AM. Compromising photograph included.
• Five for: Scott C. Rogers of Black Coffee Press (posted 1/14/2010): Five questions for Black Coffee Press founder, Scott C. Rogers
• ampere’s and (posted 1/15/2010): A gathering of miscellaneous lit links from around the internets
• We can smell bullshit. We thrive on passion (posted 1/15/2010): Another answer to someone’s post, this one about a forum member who tried hocking his book to a group of people he didn’t care to know.
• AWP and Me (posted 1/16/2010): I’m going to AWP in April. You should go, too.
  

This extended stay caps my lengthy and beautiful Blog Orgy Tour in support of my fiction collection, Charactered Pieces. I’m sure many of you have grown tired of seeing so many posts about this damn tour, and for that intrusion, I apologize. But I assure you, the content of each post was justified, if only as a means of getting people to visit the amazing sites who were kind enough to host me.

I want to thank every one of the following admins and friends who sacrificed a small portion of their page space (and possibly their reputation) for a few words from little ol’ me. The experience has been beyond phenomenal.

I’m sad to see the tour come to and end. When my next book comes around, you can bet I’ll be having another tour, and you’ll be equally as annoyed by my persistent announces of such.

And don’t forget, the reason this whole thing is going on, to buy a copy of Charactered Pieces. It’s getting fantastic reviews from all over. It’s worth your time and your measly $7, I promise. Plus, don’t forget that you get a free lit mag back issue through January 16th with every order.

Today, as one of the final stops on my Blog Orgy Tour, my 3AM Magazine Buzzwords blog takeover continues, this time with a short, five question series for Black Coffee Press founder, Scott C. Rogers.

I ask him, among other things, why he started this press and why people should care. This is hard-hitting journalism.

Today, as part of my week-long stint at the 3AM Magazine blog I offer a love letter to my beautiful host. You should join in; she’s open to multiple partners.

And as always, I urge you to check out my past Blog Orgy Tour stops here.

@ Goodreads.com, Ben Tanzer, author of Most Likely You’ll Go Your Way and I’ll Go Mine (Orange Alert Press) said this amazing bit about Charactered Pieces:

While there is weirdness in these stories, not to mention biblical allegories and tales of suicide and the holocaust, what lingers is an underlying thread about the impact parents, fathers in particular, have on our lives whether through their presence or more often their absence. Ultimately, the stories are like a collective punch to the chest, though none more so than An Optimist is the Human Personification of Spring which caused me to lose my breath for a fleeting moment as I sat on the train and still haunts me even as I write this.

@ Le Salon Annex, Kristin Fouquet (author of the story collection, Twenty Stories) gives Charactered Pieces a fantastic review. If her collection, which is next in my to-read stack, is half as good as her complimenting skills, I’m in for a fantastic experience. She even offers a beautiful photo of her enjoying the book:

@ Craig Wallwork’s blog, a review of Charactered Pieces, one that gives me the willies. Mr. Wallwork adds a personal touch to the review that gets me each time I read it (yes, I read it a lot).

@Goodreads.com the reviews for Charactered Pieces keep showing up. And not just average reviews, but amazing, positive, ego-inflating reviews.

@3AM Magazine, I’m taking over their Buzzwords Blog for a FULL WEEK as the cap to my Blog Orgy Tour.