Booked Podcast. Noir at the Bar. The Velvet Podcast.

Posted on January 28, 2012 by Caleb J Ross Posted in Events, General News | Leave a comment

I’ve been non-stop busy the past few weeks. I feel as though I’ve done nothing, as my to-do list never shrinks. But somehow, as I look back, all that I felt never happened, is done. Here’s a few things:

The wonderful Robb Olson and Livius Nedin at Booked Podcast did a full episode about my work, splitting time with my two newest books, I Didn’t Mean to be Kevin and As a Machine and Parts. The things these guys say, it makes me blush colors of red never before blushed by humans. Listen to the full episode now, and be sure to stay to the end to hear Mlaz Corbier say awesome things about my awesome socks.

Pablo D’Stair and I recorded another episode of The Velvet Podcast. We talked about one my recent tweets:

Being a writer tends to take a lot of the fun out of being a reader.

January 15, 2012 2:36 pm via HootSuite ReplyRetweetFavorite

@calebjross

Caleb J Ross

I hope to have the episode edited and posted within a week. As always, taking with Pablo is a true joy. I hope the listener gets as much from the episode as I got from recording it.

I’ll be reading in St. Louis as part of the Noir at the Bar series at the Meshuggah Café on February, 28th. The next day, I’ll be at the AWP Conference in Chicago just hanging out. Head over to the Facebook event page for more info. You should be there.

For all those crime and forensics science writers out there, a bloodstain pattern infographic. You’re welcome.

Christmas is almost over, but Christmas hookers work late.

Posted on December 25, 2011 by Caleb J Ross Posted in General News | Leave a comment

A selection of my strangest gifts ever given

Posted on November 29, 2011 by Caleb J Ross Posted in General News | Leave a comment

I write domestic grotesque fiction, which is a term I think I made up, but is quite suiting to the themes and content of my stories and books. The most famous short story that I think would fit into the domestic grotesque genre is “Good Country People” by Flannery O’Conner (visualized quite creepily in this short film from the 1960s and quite cheesily in this student clip). Take a family situation—usually some sort of broken family dynamic—mix in something grotesque—possibly morbid but not necessarily—and you’ve probably got domestic grotesque.

As you can imagine, Christmas is a fun time for my family.

I’ve given quite a few quirky gifts. Though none could be tagged as grotesque, they are representative of the type of mind that would write a domestic grotesque story, I think. Tis the season and all that, so I figured I would share a few that I’ve so graciously given over the years.

Kangaroo Scrotum change purse

Lucky Recipient: uncle

Yep, it’s a real kangaroo scrotum. I bought one for myself years ago and still use it to this day. Quite durable, those marsupial nut sacks.

Remote Triggered Farting Bear

Lucky recipient: sister

Elegantly simple. Place bear near unsuspecting grandmother. Press remote button. Watch rest of family pretend to ignore what they assume is just a more audible version of what grandma does all the time.

Huggable Swearing Bear

Lucky recipient: sister

Elegantly simple. Place bear near unsuspecting grandmother. Tell grandmother to hug bear. Watch rest of family pretend not to be embarrassed as we hear an audible version of what grandma is thinking all the time.

Zebra/Tiger Table

Lucky recipient: mother.

My mother refused to tell me what she wanted for Christmas, so I taught her a lesson by giving her a bunch of stupid crap. This table is probably the stupidest. Lesson learned, mom. I actually gave a zebra table (sans the tiger), but I couldn’t find a picture of it anywhere online. Though I think I like this one better. 2011 gift idea!

Bath towel with my giant face on it

Lucky recipient: mother

I specifically made sure to call this gift a bath towel, rather than a beach towel or dish towel, so as to enhance the creepy factor. That face is actual size…if my face suffered from Elephantiasis. that face is actually about the size of a couch cushion. Bonus funny: I’m my mother’s only son.

Way-too-old child footprints

Luck recipient: mother

You remember those cute infant-to-toddler foot print pictures that children often make for their parents. This is kinda like that except instead of ohhh-ing and awwww-ing there was much ewwww-ing and therapist calling. I actually think this was a Mother’s Day gift. Either way, ha!

Might I recommend you do the same? Creep out your family by gifting one of the items above. Or, better yet, mix in some bookage and give a copy of one of my books. Click below to go to heaven.

A short list of books I own, are currently within reaching distance, but have not yet been read

Posted on November 8, 2011 by Caleb J Ross Posted in General News | 4 Comments

Not enough time. The forever growing stack of to-reads will never be tamed due to this one simple fact. Though I read every day, sometimes for hours at a time, I’m never able to get to all of the books I feel deserve to be read. With that, I bring you this short list of to-reads that I own already but have, embarrassingly, not had the chance to read. Why this post? Perhaps to keep me honest. Or, perhaps a way to get a few people to comment with variations of “what?” and “how could you?”

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Is my procrastination justified? No. This book was required reading in high school, yet I managed to coast by with barely even cracking the spine. Back then I was not into reading. I existed on a steady intellectual diet of video games and Family Guy. Even if the message of this book lacks any true modern day application, a classic is a classic for a reason, I suppose.

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger

Is my procrastination justified? Maybe. Part of me embraces the hipster implications of having never read a classic, especially a classic such as this one, heralded as a shining example of teenage angst in literature. I’m proud of never having read this book in the same way I am proud to have never seen any of the Star Wars movies.

The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Is my procrastination justified? Yes. I’ve tried reading this tome more than a few times. I think my contemporary attention span prevents me from getting past the fifteenth hexa-syllablic Russian name. I’ll likely try again in the future. Otherwise, I suppose, it wouldn’t be on this list, right?

Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs

Is my procrastination justified? No. I’ve been told by many people whose opinion I respect that this book is amazing and should be a staple in any literatuer’s diet. However, I’ve been told by an equal number of people whose opinion I respect that the book is too self-indulgent, too non-linear, and all around too terrible for me to waste my time. Anything this divided deserves at least one attempt.

Arc D’X by Steve Erickson

Is my procrastination justified? No. Though Arc d’X isn’t considered by most Erickson fans as his best work, I picked it up at a bargain book sale simply because it is an Erickson work. I’ve read The Sea Came in at Midnight, Rubicon Beach, and Tours of the Black Clock (and I have Our Ecstatic Days on my to-read as well), so being the completest that I am, this book is bound to get read at some point. It’s been a while since I’ve read an Erickson book, which is why at least one of them finds its way to this list.

The Little Sleep by Paul Tremblay

Is my procrastination justified? No. I’ve only read short fiction by Tremblay, and judging from my experience with those shorter works it’s a travesty that I haven’t yet read The Little Sleep. Tremblay and I hang out a bit at the same Liternets so my procrastination is even more non-justified. At least with The Little Sleep being unread I’ll have something to really, really look forward to.

[EDIT: I have officially started reading this book. I have unofficially already crapped my pants in awe]

The Gift: Creativity and the Artist in the Modern World by Lewis Hyde

Is my procrastination justified? Maybe. Author friends have told me that this book reads like a definitive manifesto on creativity. Sounds great. The problem is that I have an aversion, albeit an unwarranted one, to books that have self-help titles and pictures of hearts on the cover. Call the book Creativity Kicks So Much Ass and replace the heart with some titties or a fist and you’ve got me interested.

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Is my procrastination justified? Maybe. Much of what I said above about Dostoyevsky’s The Idiot can be said here as well. Crime and Punishment carries a bit more gravitas, thus placing it higher on my to-read stack on my nightstand. That is if impressing visitors were important to me. Though, the kind of visitor that would be within close proximity to my nightstand probably doesn’t need any more impressing. </ douchey ego trip>

The Colony by Jillian Weise

Is my procrastination justified? No. I met Jillian earlier this year at the AWP conference in Washington, DC. She’s a gem. She has presence, can crack a damn fine joke, and knows her way around a conversation. In fact, she’s such a great person that I feel bad not having read this book before even leaving the conference for the airport. I’m terrible.

C by Tom McCarthy

Is my procrastination justified? Maybe. I’ve never read a McCarthy book. I’ve heard so many mixed opinions both from strangers and from people who know my tastes well. What ultimately brought me to wanting to read this book is the way Jennifer Eagan goes on and on about it on the Sept 10, 2010 episode of the NY Times Book Review Podcast. So, if it sucks, it’s your fault Eagan.

A Pint of Plain: Tradition, Change and the Fate of the Irish Pub by Bill Barich

Is my procrastination justified? Probably. Every since visiting Ireland in 20…um…2007 I think, I’ve been quite interested in the pub life of the country. Hell, I’ve been interested in the pub life of every country since I first started drinking, but never before have I actually been to the native pubs (Ireland is the only trip abroad I’ve ever taken). Having a physical association with the content of this book makes me think it will be well worth my time and worth the inevitable Guinness flashbacks.

The Ones That Got Away by Stephen Graham Jones

Is my procrastination justified? No. Stephen Graham Jones is one of those authors who can get away with writing any genre. He’s just so good. My favorite pieces of his, short fiction, are what make up this entire book. Couple those passed-thru filters with the fact that Stephen hangs out at The Velvet writing forums more than most non-super-amazing-authors, and there is just no reason for me not having read this book.

The Savage Detectives by Roberto Bolano

Is my procrastination justified? Yes. I don’t know much about this book other than the author is dead and a lot of my reading friends rave about it. The reason I give this book a “yes” to the question above is simply because I know so little of it.

Freight by Mel Bosworth

Is my procrastination justified? No. I’ve known Mel on the interwebs for a while. He’s a fellow contributor over at Outsider Writers Collective, he’s written a handful of amazing short books, he’s beloved by all, and this book is apparently somewhat of a departure not just for him but for contemporary literature in general. It’s a Choose Your Own Adventure type of book, from what I hear. Amazing, right?

How do readers choose books? [Poll Results]

Posted on October 16, 2011 by Caleb J Ross Posted in General News, Marketing, Study (the world/the craft) | 1 Comment

I’m a data nerd. I’m a spreadsheet and chart nerd. Therefore, I could have made this lede a bit shorter and simply said “I’m a nerd.” Recently, I conducted a very unscientific poll on Twitter and Facebook, asking a general group of readers how they decide what to read when choosing a book.

While this is an admittedly small poll with a slight slant toward people I know, even if tangentially (they are connected to me via Facebook and Twitter in some way), I feel the findings are still valid, at least as part of a possible larger survey. If anyone has the resources to conduct a larger poll, contact me. I’d love to see the data.

Here are the results:

Observations:

It has long been said that word of mouth is the best advertising for books, so it is slightly surprising to see “Recommendations” appear 3^rd on the list.
“Author” being so high on the list is not surprising. We live in egotistical times. And with the embrace of ego comes the worship of ego.
I didn’t think that “Cover/Title/Synopsis” would have been so important. It is especially interesting that this option was a voter submitted option.
“Price” is very far down on the list. In a world of so much free content, seeing that people are still willing to pay for perceived value is encouraging.