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Most of you probably don’t know this, but secretly, I am not the cunning stallion that I appear to be. Sure, I am a sexy reader, I can do the robot worm electric slide, and I dress in the finest clothes straight from snazzy street (Snazzy and 14th Avenue is where the local Salvation Army clothing depot is located; they always have the hippest fanny packs). But underneath all of this slathered-upon cool, I carry a potentially social-life threatening secret. I like signed books.

Sure, it’s not the most embarrassing collection out there. I know a kindergartner who collects rocks. Seriously. And not even cool rocks, either. Regular, gravel-style gray lumps of compressed sediment nonsense. I drove him down a country road once and his head exploded.

But this post isn’t about dumb kids. It’s about dumb adults. Here’s my collection for all of you to pick through and criticize.

A few of my most treasured (though I love all my babies):

  • Jesus’ Son by Denis Johnson (personally inscribed)
  • The Fifty-Year Sword by Mark Z. Danielewski (super-rare
  • Altmann’s Tongue by Brian Evenson (first edition)
  • Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk (first edition)

Anyone else out there collect signed books? What are your treasures?

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3 Comments

  1. Jesus Man, that’s some collection. Is that Palahniuk FIGHT CLUB a 1st/1st? That’s worth some cash, brother, if it is. I’ve got all of his signed but that one. Well, you know my Stephen King collection, worth about $10k (or it WAS) including some signed anthologies like QUIETLY NOW and BORDERLANDS 5, signed by multiple authors like King, Straub, F. Paul Wilson, Ketchum, tons of others. I’ve got all of CCs and WCBs books signed, and a couple of SGJs (ATBS, etc.). A 1st/1st of Jack Ketchum’s THE GIRL NEXT DOOR. A signed/numbered/limited of PEACEABLE KINGDOM. Several s/l of China Mieville’s. KNOCKEMSTIFF by Donald Ray Pollock, both of Craig Davidson’s, Holly Goddard Jones’ debut, GIRL TROUBLE, 20th CENTURY GHOSTS and HEART SHAPED BOX by Joe Hill, THE AUDACITY OF HOPE by Barrack Obama and THE DAMNATION GAME by Clive Barker. But that’s about it. Lots of weird foreign editions by Palahniuk and CC too. Yes, I’m a book geek too.

  2. Quite a collection, you have. Us book geeks have to stick together.

    I don’t know if the fight club is 1st/1st or even just 1st edition. I’ve had it for a while, so maybe. I’ll check when I get home tonight. Now I am curious.

  3. Seems almost a shame that these unique signatures remain hidden when the books are closed. I always wondered why the jackets don’t get signed, but I guess that wouldn’t really work.

    Would probably be embarrassing if I ask for a remainder to get signed, so that eliminates most of my options.

    I did accidentally get a signed Steve Erickson – Rubicon Beach 1/1 for $4 recently, which I thought was pretty cool. Maybe not much of a market for it, but there should be.

    Michio Kaku signed my copy of Physics of the Impossible, which was really cool. Apparently I’m a scientist groupie.

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