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Resurrecting the Author Career, Returning to Whisky and Words

Disclaimer: I am far from a career author. I’ve made enough money to buy a few fifths of whisky and some diapers for my baby, so needless to say I’ve got a long way to go. The following plan reflects this outsider (re: possibly ignorant) perspective. The idealized author spends his time alone, churning out [...]

Have you heard about the new fake James Patterson book?*

*neither James Patterson nor Stephenie Meyer wrote this book** **Thank fucking God*** ***though I wouldn’t mind their sales. Get to it, asterisks readers.

The Master’s Program as a Trade School

I’ve been accused of being a bit of a literary snob. Mostly by best-seller groupies who smell like trade paperbacks and poverty. Why don’t you go save a few dimes at a used blog store, and leave the shiny new posts to those of us with taste! /UNDESERVED SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT My justification for being [...]

What brings you back?

Things need to change. I need to blog more. I need to have interesting things to say. Yes, that is the correct order for those last two items. Blogs, generally, are dumb. So many of them tend to be self-infatuated messes. The argument that this egotism is their exact purpose stands, true. So perhaps my [...]

Waits and Bukowski Fistfight on eBay

With all the talk of dwindling advances, shrinking sales, and too many scribblers willing to saturate the bookshelves with crap, Writers (with the admittedly douchey capital “W”) must become more creative in monetizing their efforts. I anticipate the recent Amazon Kindle decision to open its interface to the blogosphere at large will ultimately impact blog-structured [...]

The Book-hating Penis

Chris Goldberg’s recent article at the Huffington Post states that men, in general, simply do not read. “But is it our fault?” he asks. “Or have publishers just given up trying to publish and market books that we want to read?” A sadly self-fulfilling prophecy? It’s true that we need writers, and publishers with the [...]

Authors are prostitutes

The path to book sales shouldn’t be paved with white smiles and checkerboard slacks. When dealing with a product that has neither life-sustaining value nor infomercial superfluence, sales might best be treated as a byproduct of a well-manicured relationship. One between author and audience, as well as among the audience members themselves. Book groups exist. [...]

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Stories Forthcoming

(as yet untitled story, part of the Push Corpse project)
Where: No Colony
When: Summer 2010
Click-Clack
Where: SALiT Magazine
When: Winter 2010

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