The first successful–and purposeful–vasectomy was done on a dog. There’s no documentation to support any of the possible theories as to why a dog was chosen, let alone the specific dog. It’s possible that a dog’s penis is simply similar to a human penis and therefore suffices as an anatomical stand-in. It’s possible that an ultra-capitalist breeder ordered the vasectomy to artificially curb supply for the particular breed. I prefer to imagine that the dog in question had aggressive genes and that its owner, not willing to have it euthanized, agreed to either of two alternate options: 1) dog condoms or 2) experimental wiener surgery. The wiener surgery was ultimately chosen I assume because at that time, the year 1823, condoms were “made of fish and animal intestine” and nobody wanted to be the guy to wrap sheep guts around a dog boner.
This dog–we’ll assume for the sake of a just and humorous god is a wiener dog–is not the sole recipient of animal testing for the sake of safe human sexual intercourse.… Read the rest