The top 5 most popular blog posts of 2010

Posted on by Caleb J. Ross in General News | Leave a comment

During 2010 I went from a seldom-posting recluse to an annoying gnat. But apparently some people like being bothered by insects, because a few of my posts actually rose out of the white noise to become respectable accidental meant-to-search-for-porn landing pages.

#1 | Great Unexpected Literary References (posted in June)
Top entrance keywords: literary references, literature references in family guy, south park literary references, simpsons literary references, family guy brian great expectations reference

#2 | Peter Griffin does porn and literature

Top entrance keywords: peter griffin porn, griffin porn, caleb porn, porn in literature, porn literature

#3 | My 2010 Lit Midget list of forthcoming small press books

Top entrance keywords: midget list, noah cicero the insurgent, “noah cicero”, “termite parade”, “letter machine”

#4 | You decide what I wear; voting for the Stranger Will cover

Top entrance keywords: stranger vote 2010 nov, stranger vote november 2010 (most of the visits for this page came from direct referrals)

#5 | Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery” mentioned in The Simpsons

Top entrance keywords: the lottery the simpsons, the simpsons the lottery, the lottery simpsons, simpsons the lottery shirley jackson, the simpsons + the lottery


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Ideas I’ve had (probably while drinking): bottle stories

Posted on by Caleb J. Ross in Marketing | Leave a comment

The beer bottle label is grossly misappropriated real estate. When sold as a six- or twelve-pack, the bottle label is hidden by the outside packaging. And nobody buys a single bottle of beer. So why not use the label for something more than null-advertising? We drink for the morning after stories over greasy breakfast, so why not pull those stories back by a few hours and give them when drinking?

The content of the stories could be anything from true life tales of drunken debauchery, to short fictions that somehow involve drinking, to short bios of famous authors (and their drunken exploits), to stories that incorporate the unique canvas (stories about glassblowers or, if drinking a red ale, vampires).

For those advertising traditionalists, the label facade could be left intact, reserving a hidden underside for the story. Think the way cigarette cartoons often display coupons.

Attention investors: money please!


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Kansas City Reading Coves – Outlaw Cigar (south)

Posted on by Caleb J. Ross in Reading Coves | 1 Comment

I bring you #5 of a hopefully long-lived series: Kansas City Reading Coves.

When I can, I like my coves like my vaginas: humid and labyrinthine.

Today’s cove: Outlaw Cigar (south) – 13700 Metcalf, Overland Park, KS 66223

I’ve avoided this place for two reasons: 1) it’s a 30 minute or so drive from my house, and 2) the cigars are crazy expensive. The only time I came in here prior to today’s visit was a few months ago. That visit allowed me to not only witness the aforementioned crazy expensive cigars first hand, but also to glimpse the cigar lounge. From my vantage near the cash register I saw only a few leather couches and a TV mounted to the wall. Nice enough, but not nice enough to pay more than twice the standard going rate for a cigar. I left, planning never to return.

Then today, I had a few hours to kill and was in the neighborhood, so I decided to take a deeper look. I am damn glad I did. The lounge, which might more rightfully be called an adjacent building, is just about all the things I could love in a reading cove. The first of two giant rooms contains about 15 leather chairs, 3 mounted televisions, and even a bar (which was closed on this Friday morning, but I assume opens  up during special events). Preferring a quiet place to read, the TVs put me off, but I endured. I read for about an hour, then when searching for a restroom, I happened upon a super secret back lounge, this one with TVs turned off. It was perfect. I sat for another hour, just me, Matt Bell‘s How They Were Found, and the silence. The setup almost justifies the cigar prices.

The view from my secret-cove corner

The view from my secret-cove corner (view unobstructed)

The view toward my secret-cove corner

Rankings out of 10:

Smoking accommodations 10 The lounges are bigger than the rest of the store. Enough said.
Furniture comfort 10 Very comfy animals died for these chairs.
Quiet level 8 As long as the TVs are off, this place is great.
Temperature comfort 3 I don’t think this place has heard of a heater. Maybe a heater would harm the humidors, I don’t know. But still, some space heaters or something would be nice.


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My fancy new mobile site is now live. Expect fanciness.

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The fancy new mobile version of this website is now live. Take your fancy fingers and click over to the aptly earlier described fancy site by using this fancy link. (Hint: for maximum fanciness, view on a fancy mobile device, such as one pictured above).


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Top five of oh ten

Posted on by Caleb J. Ross in Other Writers | 7 Comments

It’s that time of year again, when it is acceptable for elitists to boast of their hipster cred. Of course, I am referring to the Top (number) Lists of the year. I’m going to squeeze into my skinny jeans, wrap a scarf around my non-coated body, and crack open a PBR while I compile my best  books of 2010 list.

The top five

Rationale: these are my five favorite books that were published in 2010. Of course, disclaimers apply; I couldn’t read every book published, I may not have given some books equal attention, and on and on. However, I can still cull a few favs from the admittedly too-short stack of 2010 books I read. And here they are, in no particular order.

What I said

Wolf Parts is vicious fairy tale excursions. Wolf Parts gives metaphor to the ambiguity of adolescence, turning the cautionary tale of “Little Red Riding Hood” into a predatory one. Wolf Parts turns the morality lessons of our established fairy tale and turns it inside out, sometimes literally.

What I said

Bliss Inc. beautifully teases the reader with resolution, from the opening description of arrival to the final page, and even then the reader is left with encouragement in lieu of conclusion. But it is because of this encouragement that Bliss Inc. should be on every reader’s bookshelf. Upon finishing, I knew I would forever look at cities, and my own suburban life, differently. Bliss Inc. is a truly phenomenal book, and I am comfortable with saying that it will easily make my top books of 2010 list, perhaps my top books of all time list.

What I said

I was surprised I liked it so much, to be honest. I’m admittedly a hipster when it comes to books (meaning, if one is popular, I am less willing to admit that I like it), but this guy has such a confidence of language that makes me so jealous.

What I said

At times Aimee Bender minus the domesticity, add humor, mix with welcomed introspection. I’ll be reading more @paulGtremblay

What I said: 

Author Nik Korpon is not satisfied to let a simple nod serve to validate his fandom, whether of movies, of music, or of literature. No, Korpon takes what is inherently compelling about each of his many references and weaves those concepts into his story.

Honorable Mentions

Rationale: these may not have made it to my top five, but they deserve some page space, dammit.

High Hopes

Rationale: these could have been on the list, but unfortunately I haven’t been able to read them yet. These are books that have been taunting me from my to read shelf. I’ve heard so much praise about these books that I feel bad for not yet giving them the time they deserve.

How They Were Found by Matt Bell

Working Backwards from Worst Moment of My Life by Rob Roberge

C by Tom McCarthy

Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void by Mary Roach

The Wraith by Goodloe Byron

It Came From Del Rio by Stephen Graham Jones


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